I will say right off the top that I do not support abortion for personal reasons and reasons that I hope to share with you today. If there are any non-LDS, pro-choice people out there, I hope you can read this with an open mind.
I would like to argue in this post that in these cases, choosing to parent/marry or abort the child may not be the best option. Adoption is an option that not only takes responsibility, but ensures that the child will be cared for and loved within the best means available.
In quite a few cases women will marry the father of the child and have that child together. This does take responsibility for that child and I am more than convinced that those who make this choice feel that they are doing what's best for this child. I am even more convinced that these people do the best they can to love and provide for them. However, in a lot of these cases the parents, or single mother (if you simply choose to parent) do not have the proper resources to raise that child. They are often uneducated, unprepared and financially deficient. Also, if there is no real bond between the parents, getting married will be a quick fix with long term consequences that will lead to heartache and regret. A marriage will not survive for the sake of the child alone. Adoption is the only way your child will be given the best opportunity to be raised with the best resources available.
Abortion is indeed an option. You do in fact have the agency to abort your child. I don't want to argue too much about when the life of child begins in the womb. But I will say this: Regardless of what your opinion/belief is about when that life begins, do you honestly know when it begins? What if it does in fact begin at conception but you have decided it doesn't? What if when it develops a heart beat, or starts looking like a baby it begins life, but you abort that child at the 19th week? You call it a baby once you know you're pregnant right? Doesn't a baby have life?
In my opinion, abortion does not take responsibility for what happened. It is the mother taking actions in order to act like it never happened. But it did. It is an attitude of denial. I would also like to point out that if you abort that child, you have prevented it from attaining the potential it would have had in life. You have either done it for convenience or you have done it because you feel that child will not have the best life. Well, how will you know what life they will have unless you give it an opportunity to live it?
Women everywhere that are pro-choice will say that they have the right to control their own body and should do what they feel like to it. They are absolutely right. But, didn't you choose what to do with your body when you chose to have intercourse? Even if you were protected and the protection failed, you made the choice and agreed to the risk of pregnancy when you chose to put your body through intercourse. Why is it the baby's fault.
I will get off my soap box on that now. I truly don't want to offend anyone who may be reading this.
Instead, I will move on to adoption, which I think is the best choice in many of these situations. Adoption not only takes responsibility for the pregnancy but it also provides that child with the opportunity to receive the fullest potential of life. It gives couples who are unable to have their own family a chance to love your little baby as much as they possibly can and provide for it the best possible means. It also gives you the chance to have a connection with that child if you choose without having to raise them. An abortion makes that impossible. You could get to see that child develop. At the very least you can give it a chance to.
Below is a chart listing the similarities and differences between adoption and abortion in order to support some of the things I have said:
Adoption vs. Abortion
| Similarities | |
|---|---|
| Adoption | Abortion |
| You can pursue earlier goals | You can pursue earlier goals |
| You can live independently | You can live independently |
| You will not have to parent prematurely | You will not have to parent prematurely |
| You will avoid being forced into a hasty marriage or relationship | You will avoid being forced into a hasty marriage or relationship |
| If you are a teenager, you can resume your youthful lifestyle | If you are a teenager you can resume your youthful lifestyle |
| Note: There are no similarities between parenting and abortion. One important similarity between adoption and parenting is that you can give life to your child and watch your child grow up. | |
| Differences | |
| Adoption | Abortion |
| Your pregnancy ends with giving life | Your pregnancy ends with death |
| You can feel good and positive about your choice | You may feel guilt and shame about your choice |
| You will remember giving birth | You will remember taking a life |
| You will have plenty of time to plan you and your baby's future | Abortion is final; you can't go back on your decision |
| You can hold, name, and love your baby | You will never know or treasure your baby |
| You can have continued contact with your baby | You will miss the opportunity to see your child develop |
Adoption is the best option in most cases and although it is a consequence of unplanned pregnancy, I think it is the biggest reward to live through the 9 months of pregnancy knowing that you gave a fertilized egg cell a chance to live a full life (just as you have) rather than the consequence of knowing you prevented one.
Thank you for your comments and perspective! I too have some strong feelings on the subject of unplanned pregnancy as my oldest sister was pregnant out of wedlock and made the courageous decision to place the baby in a loving LDS home where is receiving the blessings of both a loving mother and father. Her choice to place Logan has made such an impact on my life and has given me great experience and a greater understanding of the Atonement. How is the Atonement connected with parenting? How can we seek to develop good parenting skills at this time in our life when we do not currently have children?
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