Making Sure Our Children Understand

So this week, I think one of the most important things we discussed as a class was about teaching our children about sexual intimacy the right way.
It started when someone mentioned that there are a lot of youth who in their adulthood still feel like sex is a bad thing. This has stemmed from how their superiors including their parents taught them about it. Every adult knows that sex is a very special and beautiful thing that should be shared with the right person, but we turn around and make it seem that it is sinful to our children and fail to teach about the sacredness of it.
One student mentioned an object lesson they had learned at church in which a chewed piece of gum was used to represent someone who had done something sexual outside of marriage. This conveys the message that no one will want you after they have been impure. But this image doesn't just stay  in their minds as a premarital consequence but it transfers sometimes into how they feel when having sex with their spouse for the first time. These metaphors can cause an extended feeling of guilt and insecurity.

Other things that can cause our youth to grow up thinking of sex as a bad thing are:
- oversexualizing things
- avoiding discussion about it/ showing embarrassment
- focusing on sex as being a sin
- discussing sex after marriage and how it is not a sin
- using euphemisms

To avoid these things we need to make sure that we talk about sexual intimacy that teaches it is a wonderful thing at the appropriate time, instead of telling them to just not do it. The first, teaches them that it isn't a sin and that when it is performed in the right circumstances, it's ok. We need to teach our young men and women to be comfortable with their bodies and to love themselves, teach that modesty is about respect rather than oversexualizing body parts which makes exposing them dirty or unclean.
Most importantly we need to be prepared and comfortable with talking to our children as well. We can't avoid the topic or skirt around general ideas. We need to make sure the point is being made and that it is a positive one. Being confident and positive rather than advoidant or chastising creates less of a taboo toward sexual intimacy and allows our children to understand its true importance.